Monday, May 9, 2011

Sunny With An 80% Chance of Hairdryer*

I wanted to share with you some entirely possible weather forecasts for the greater Austin area:

Scattered deck-chair lift-offs** with late afternoon starfish positions*** likely.

No clouds in sight with intermittent dust storms all day.

Swollen, cottony tongues accompanying dehydration goose-bumps, giving way to 100% chance of prayers for rain after noon.

Hazy with isolated patches of doom-and-gloom. 

Increasing chance of looking like you just took a shower with your clothes on before actually getting into the shower, throughout the day.

A Wheezing The Juice [see 00:25] Advisory has been issued for Travis County and surrounding areas, including the Hill Country, from 12:00 PM until 7:00 PM.  All convenience store employees should take cover immediately: head to an interior store-room with no exterior walls and do not come out until the All Clear has been sounded.

And reading between the lines of the real weather forecasts and interpreting these nuances is all part of the learning curve, which I accept.  Long runs start early; most groups begin at 5:30 AM, definitely no later than 6:00 AM.  I learned the intelligence of this schedule the hard...and slow...and extremely dehydrated way.  Never go on a ride of any length with less than three bottles.  Again a lesson learned through thirst and desperation for relief.

And I'm freaking loving it.  Even the wind.  Why, you ask?

Do you know how hot it would be withOUT IT?!?!

I did assault a convenience store 3 hours into yesterday's ride.  Everything I chose upon entering was gone before I got to the counter to pay - downed right there in the aisles; I refrained from wheezing the juice...technically...I used a cup! - so I had to go back for more.

Because I had to get home and riding into a hairdryer is hairy business.

* Seriously warm dry heat with extremely windy conditions.  As in: I might as well have been riding the trainer with a hairdryer in my face.

** So windy deck-chairs are blowing away.

*** When, post-workout, an athlete can only sprawl face-up or -down in the middle of their living room, appendages sticking out to all sides.

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