Wednesday, December 12, 2012

Letters To The Editors Of Winter

Dear Designers of Winter Running Tights With Off-Center Pockets -

A pocket in winter running tights, that is off-center and only attached along one edge serves no purpose except to pull down the tights when any object containing actual mass is put in it.  You leave me with a perplexing choice: don't eat or be naked.  

I choose: neither.

Gel stays in, pants stay up
Stays put even with normal running hands

Sincerely,

Onto Your Game And Beating You At It


Dear Park Administrators -

Just because you close a public restroom for the winter doesn't mean people will stop having to go to the bathroom.  It doesn't mean people will stop going to the bathroom, either.

That's just the facts, ma'am.

Sincerely,

A Pop-a-squatter

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