Monday, February 10, 2014

Mommy, That Man Is Flying Through The Air!

Setting aside any discussion of where these winter Olympics are being held and that country's lack of grip on security and hotel construction and belief that entire classifications of sexuality simply do not exist, I am really excited for Sochi 2014.

Why?  Because the winter Olympics is comprised almost entirely of sports I have never tried to be good at.

When I watch the summer Olympics, I am constantly amazed and inspired by awesome performances, but I am also constantly comparing those performances to my own, and needless to say, I am found (seriously) wanting.  Well, pretty much every swimmer in the world is found wanting when watching Michael Phelps in Beijing or nearly every female distance runner in the world is found wanting when watching Deena Kastor in Athens.  The summer Olympics puts me firmly in my athletic place in swimming, running, cycling, gymnastics, softball (formerly), fencing, soccer, crew, tennis, and basketball.  [Man, I have played a lot of sports.]

By comparison, the winter Olympics I watch with a child-like enthusiasm that can only be elicited by watching a sport that you simply can't imagine yourself ever being able to do.  People flying through the air with two (or less) planks of woods strapped to their feet, or people sliding around on slippery solids with two thin pieces of metal (or wood) strapped to their feet or decidedly non-protective vehicles.  I mean...HOW?  WHAT?  At least PRETEND like you are trying to obey the laws of physics and gravity, for goodness sake!  

The only winter sport I have ever attempted with any amount of consistency is cross country skiing and I am not ashamed to admit that the version in the Olympics looks absolutely NOTHING like my version.  And that is even before guns are added to the mix.

So for this fortnight you will find me camped in front of my TV with popcorn and look of awe on my face.  Because they might as well be sprouting wings and flying about.


Oh, what am I saying.  Of course I have to discuss Russia's stance on queer sexuality.  There are two gay clubs in Sochi, but the Mayor claims there are no gays in Sochi.  No, there are just a lot of confused straight people.  

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